| Well, I'm going to France for 10 days in May. I'm excited.
Yesterday I bought an iPod. I feel kind of strange about it now, like I just bought into something....wrong? "I own an iPod"; it just feels weird and not quite natural. But it's pretty :)
Saw Sin City Sunday night and even though I'd been wanting too, it was waaaay too violent for me. I spent probably a few seconds of every other scene looking at my lap. I am such a girl sometimes. But I went with some people from work and we've hung out maybe twice now, which I also find weird and cliched. And now I need to get dressed and go to work! | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | Stars | | Time: | 10:43 pm |
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| So where am I at? I'm nervous about re-applying to school but at the same time I want to get in so badly that it makes me wonder if a part of why I might be nervous would have to do with a fear of being rejected. My life isn't esp. exciting at the moment. Work exhausts me to the point where I think should cut back on my hours as to have more time to acutally get some filming done, since Í've been doing a whole lot less than I ought to. Still have no idea what happened in regards to the boy. But I guess he probably just lost interest, which happens. And at least he isn't being awkward about it, which is good. Oh! I got my haircut at Vidal Sasson Tuesday and it's now a little shorter thant it used to be, but most of all, it's blonde. Like, Deborah Harry blonde in the front and strawberry blonde in the back. It's nuts and it definitely took some getting used to but it's fun, even if it was a little embarassing at first, since I kind of surprised everyone with it.
We have no heat in our apt. and since spring is on it's way (and we're cheap) we've decided not to get anymore. So we've basically been walking around with 3 sweaters on a piece for the past week. Here's to hoping the weather gets dramatically warmer soon. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | wilco | | Time: | 07:02 pm |
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| It's my father's voice trailing off
Sailors sailing off in the morning
For the air-conditioned rooms
At the top of the stairs
His jaw's been broken
His bandage is wrapped too tight
His fangs have been pulled
And I really want to see you tonight
There's bourbon on the breath
Of the singer you love so much
He takes all his words from the books
That you don't read anyway
His jaw's been broken
His bandage is wrapped too tight
His fangs have been pulled
And I really want to see you tonight
Someone ties a bow
In my backyard to show me love
My voice is climbing walls
Smoking and I want love
My jaw's been broken
My heart is wrapped in ice
My fangs have been pulled
And I really want to see you tonight
And it makes no difference to me
How they cried all over overseas
When it's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
They cried all over overseas
It makes no difference to me
When it's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
It's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
I'm not going outside
I'm not going outside
So, I met a boy....... and he makes me all smiley :) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | TV on the radio | | Time: | 01:44 am |
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| I'm seeing Badly Drawn Boy Friday with Megan and Malcolm. :)
Thursday night I went queer clubbing, which was fun and random, annnndd........ that's it.
Nothing else to report.
My life is boring but stressfull. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Sufjan Stevens | | Time: | 03:08 pm |
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| Yesterday I went to see Noam Chomsky talk at my school. He's pretty neat.
I'm on a Twins Peak kick, so instead of reading and doing homework, I spend my time getting freaked out by david lynch. now i dream about essays and murders. I need a vacation. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | there's a boy down the hall, evan, who plays the drums. but his drums are too loud at times. like now. but he's cute, so we'll pretend it's okay. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | but i just won the sims on e-bay, which was probably a really stupid thing to get, since it'll give me one more reason to procrastinate. but it was really, really cheap..... and it's too much fun making all the sims people walk around, get in fights, go to the bathroom, etc. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | i hate poetic realsim at the moment. and i hate presentations that have to do with poetic realsim, presentations for tuesday, and it's sunday, and i'm not ready. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Black eyed peas | | Time: | 09:09 pm |
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| I saw Matt Nathanson Monday night and it was an absolutely great show; he's actually a pretty funny guy. And tonight I saw a filmmaker, Alex Mackenzie, who does expanded cinema, which was really interesting and something that I had never seen before. Other than that, everything's pretty much the same. I've got a ton of work to do which is causing me a lot of stress and I can't wait for winter break.
I'm taking a hip-hop class on Fridays, which I'm looking forward to. Our first class is tomorrow so we'll see how that goes :).
This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, which means that everyone's going home, and I'll be here doing work. Or procrastinating.
There's been a 'my so-called life' marathon on this week, so I've been a big nerd, watching that each night with Megan, and sighing over how my high school was desperately lacking in Jared Letos.
and i have a cough. blah. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | belle & sebastien | | Time: | 12:15 am |
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| | This is the second official week of school.
Classes began last wednesday and this week the university is closed thursday and friday for rosh hashanna, so i've had each class only once, except for my shakespeare class. I'm actually pretty happy with my classes and my schedule for this year. For starters, i only have class Tuesday through thursday, and two of my classes (both film) are at Keele (the main campus) on Tuesday. So for this year i'm only taking English and film classes, with the exception of one french course first semester, which i find pretty great. The only thing I don't like is being required to take 5 classes, but that just means that come second semester I'll be doing 3 film and 2 english classes. Being back isn't bad, Carina came by and apologized and we talked for a while so now everything's cool. Also, being able to cook all my own food is a nice relief from past years in res. Last week i got to go see the Old 97's, a band from Texas, that I definitely recommend, and who only have added to my desire to go to Austin sometime. Also, yesterday was Yorkfest which basically consisted of a couple of bands playing for free out on the quad at Keele, along with other stuff that I had to miss because of classes. It was kind of neat being able to walk out of class only to go sit down on the grass and be at a concert with the entire school, and not only that, but the two headlining acts were Matthew Good and Buck 65. I got to see the latter over the summer and I absolutely love him; he's fantastic and definitely one of my favourite musicians, so do do check him out. His album "talkin' honky blues" is damn good. As for matthew good, he's very big in Canada, so having him play at my school was pretty crazy but very cool. Also going on at the moment is the Film Festival, and I managed to buy a ticket to a French movie on friday and tomorrow I'm going to go and try to get rush tickets to Michael Winterbottom's newest film "9 songs" but who knows how well that will turn out. Other than that, I guess I'm just trying to get back into school mode (without much success
apparently). I am going to have such an incredibly busy semester and I'm a little worried, so we'll see how that goes. But I guess that's what happens when you become an upperclassmen, the workload increases, sometimes drastically and you pretty much just have to take it.
p.s. my computer had a huge virus and had to be reformatted :( but now it's all better, all clean :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | my co-worker's r&b/rap, all day, which drives me up the wall | | Subject: | Meep,meep | | Time: | 09:16 am |
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| I've been ignoring LJ for the past two months approximately. We needed some time apart and at our counselor's suggestions, I chose to walk away. LJ and I have now worked out our differences and so I am back.
Anyways. Things are pretty good. My roommate Jess and I get along amazingly well. We're both weird about the same things so it's been a lot of fun living with her and we haven't had a single issue or problem which surprises me a bit. I always hear stories of horrible roommate situations, and people getting into fights and whatnot so in trying to be realisitic, I wasn't expecting everything to go as well as it has. I honestly could not ask for a better roommate I don't think, especially considering how small our apartment really is. We have to share the bedroom, but even that hasn't bothered us. I'm learning to cook, which I love, and just being able to have my "own" place is fantastic. I love the independence, the fact that I don't feel tied down or responsible for anyone other than myself and haivng a comfy couch is quite lovley. Then it hits me, I'm no longer a kid.
Things that make me feel old:
1. owning a subway pass
2. buying toilet paper
3. owning lots of tupperware and packing my lunch everyday
4. commuting to work and to school
5. going grocery shopping
and lots of other things that I can't think of at the moment, because for the most part, it hasn't totaly sunken in that I am living like your stereotypical 20-something student. But when it does hit me, it blows my mind because I didn't even notice how it was I got to this point. You just kind live life, not always paying attention to what's actually happening until you're way past the point and then all you can do is look back. It's very, very bizarre.
My class is still painful but I've met some chill people which makes it a lot more bareable. I have a test tomorrow night on syntax that I'm really not prepared for, so maybe I should think about studying tonight, no matter how tempting 'Spiderman' may seem.
Saturday night I went and saw Great Big Sea at the Molson Amphitheatre, Toronto's equivalent of the Tweeter Ctr. and it was awesome. It was just such a damn good show and afterwards, as we were leaving, we cut through this area where there was a huge fireworks display occuring (we were on the water), which only added to an already great night. Thursday night I saw "As You Like It" performed under the trees in a great big park and although the performance itself was nothing extraordinary, it was just nice to be outside listening to Shakespeare, with little lightening bugs flying about.
I'll stop now, because I'm realizing just how long a post this is turning out to be. Guess that's what happens after a 2 month break, and I haven't even begun to say anything important.
"It’s true I must be going but I swear I won’t be long
There isn’t that much ocean between Boston and St. John’s
I’m a rover and I’m bound to sail away
I’m a rover can you love me anyway?'" -GBS | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Can I find a place of solace to unscale?
Should I take a social climb? Should I fail?
Have we gathered here to buzz or just to roach?
Have I bought another problem to approach?
If you want to leave me
If you want to just throw me away
I'll be down in a second
I'll be down in a second
How come now it seems that you no longer care?
How can I live a life that seems no longer fair?
Have we noticed yet that this is not a game?
Have I bought a fast way to a claim to fame?
If you want to leave me
If you want to just throw me away
I'll be down in a second
I'll be down in a second
If you want to leave me
If you want to just throw me away
I'll be down in a second
I'll be down in a second
mm. i'm a bitch. but phantom planet's still good. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Divine Comedy | | Time: | 09:48 am |
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| | So, so, so.... Yesterday was both good and bad. It was bad workwise but turned out pretty great socially. A guy I vaguely know wanted to interview me for the school paper about the Vagina Monlogues, so I went downtown to meet him at this coffe shop/dive that I really like, so already that was a good sign, since he picked the place. As per usual I was late in getting there, but once I did arrive, we ended up talking for 2 hours, and not simply about the play. It was pretty amazing, but also kind of scary. I completely opened up to him, talking about things which I hadn't talked about with anyone. I've always felt that since I got here, I don't have the same kinds of conversations that I did back home, where we seemed to have actual discussions, usually just sitting in Liz's kitchen/living room, but that were nonetheless different from the usual "this is how i feel/i'm stressed, etc." kind of conversations I tend to have with my friends here. For the first time in what felt like a long time, I actually spoke with someone who challenged me and made me think. We even talked about books, and not just what we're reading for school. It was very satisfying and I realized how much I missed just hanging out without having to really do anything, just being able to sit around with good music, mediocre coffee, and good conversation. And he's coming to the show next week, which I have to admit, I'm really looking forward to. I feel all giddy and girly. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Hot Hot Heat- talk with me, dance with me | | Time: | 11:51 am |
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| I plan to kidnap the boys from Hot Hot Heat simply beacuse their music makes me want to bounce around my room. They can live in my closet and come out when I want to dance. I'll also grab Courtney Taylor-Taylor (heh, what a terrible name) and he can sit around and sing along while looking pretty.
So those are my plans for today, what's yours? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Curtis Mayfield- Move On Up | | Time: | 01:51 am |
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| Last night I went to a club with two other girls and it was...strange. I always kinda thought I didn't like clubs, based on the one I had been to in London, and since none of my close friends here like them either, it was fine. When we go out, we go to pubs, but not clubs. At any rate, since it was Valentine's Day we figured we really did need to go out and since I was with different people than the ones I hang out with on a regular basis last night, we went to a club. It wasn't a bad night, but it reconfirmed why I don't really like clubs. I find that after a while all the music starts to sound the same, all the guys are the big jock types, and everyone seems to have one goal: to get laid or at least something along those lines. But it was something different at least, and it was side of Toronto that I had had yet to discover. So that's done.
This week will be full of work. I have a huge film paper to do as well as a presentation to prepare for. Ugh. and I guess now would be a good time to catch up on my reading as well, but that probably won't happen.
This Thursday night I'm going out to dinner with Max, and a couple other people, of which I only really know three. Of the people who are going, they're the kinds of people that I get really shy around and I can't for the life of me figure out why I said yes when he invited me to join them. There are times when I don't even like him as a person, and the same can be applied to his whole group of friends pretty much. It just seems like there are two sides to him, a nice, genuine one, and the one where he comes across as very proud and almost fake. Today was the first time he and I had an actual conversation since New Years, and even then we didn't really talk. And we haven't hung out at all this semester. I honestly don't know what I'm doing. Nor do I have any idea what he's thinking. Why on earth would he invite me to join them considering we rarely even speak to one another? and why did i say yes? I think the whole French thing has something to do with it, but I'm still unclear as to what exactly its role is in this. I am so confused.
I am turning into an amazing whiner! jesus..... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I hate it when I get a knot in the bottom of my stomach because of all the work I have to do.
Deadlines stress me out beyond belief.
I will literally be living at the library next week, doing research and hopefully some writing, instead of going on vacation for Reading week.
But luckily, I will be spending not this weekend but the next one in Ottawa. Hopefully it'll make for a nice break.
I hate liars. At least admit that you lied, and to my face at that, instead of pretending that absolutely nothing has changed. Why is it up to me to be the adult and let you get away with treating me like crap? I refuse to be walked all over, and by not dealing with any of this, it makes me want to be cruel. So instead, I don't speak, because I'm scared of what I might say and just how great my capacity to hurt may be.
I am angry and I don't get to express it, so I'm sorry you had to read this, but I had to tell someone.
P.S. Conan's in Toronto all week, so watch! | | comments: Leave a comment |
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bellecote's journal